My Student Loan Poem

A metaphor will cost.
Maybe we could do business over a simile,
But if you want an original one
You better make sure you can afford it.

I can’t offer you rhyme or reason,
Because I’m bankrupt. Not just emotionally,
I can’t afford the next line,
My budget doesn’t cover much more than a glass of wine.

Okay, that will be 1p.
You got your Eminem-style rhyme. I hope you’re happy.
I would like to write you something profound,
But unfortunately, that has a surcharge of 30,000 pounds.

Of course I can’t offer a money back guarantee.
This is not a pretty poem. It has no striking images,
There are no resounding sounds, unless you count
the occasional vowel movement.

This isn’t a great poem.
It’s not even a good one.
You wouldn’t believe how much it’s cost me,
That’s why I am giving it to you for free.